thoughts

fanny's blog is like her diary entry..
actually she really loves noting down special events..
normal events too..
those that she would love to remember..
be it good or bad.. enjoyable or sad
there are some things that fanny wouldn't want to forget..
for whatever reasons..
sometimes she dun even remember the reason as time passes
sometimes..ok most of the times.. she is very lazy to even sign into her blog
therefore the entry intervals can vary from 1 day to 2 weeks, even a month.


fanny has gathered some thoughts..
a sudden urge to blog..
in the midst of watching a course video to write a 5000 words essay by tuesday, 530pm
perhaps she's just tired..
sometimes..she just wonder what she is doing with her life
or rather what she has done so far
maybe what she had done to her life
nothing is consistent..
everything is so short term
nothing remains the same
feelings waiver
habits dont stay
thoughts are everchanging
but there are certain things that cannot be changed..
but she's really scared that 1 day..
things get overboard
and everything goes!
at that time..
she will lose control of everything
the word "special" will be meaningless
coz everything means the same


there's an irony..
coz there is 1 thing that will not change
shd fanny be happy or sad?
coz the 1 thing is being a habitual late comer
be it meetings..lessons..outings..lunch..bfast..dinner..supper..anything that is measured by time..she would fail it
this thing is constant..
it has stayed with her for as long as it had begun..
she has hoped many a times for it to get lost!
but to no avail..
strange uh..
perhaps she can try wishing for something to go away if she wants it to stay? =p


recently..she realised that she is undergoing a v.drastic change.
she no longer enjoy crowds like she did
she loves to stay at home
she likes to be alone
she still like to watch tv, binge on ice cream and chocolate, munch on cereal, shopping, even movies..
but she would consider a '1 man show' FIRST..
before she considers finding company..
lucky for her..she still bothers to disturb her cousins and huini


still recently..fanny has a new love!
justin!
she bought her 1st cd aft like around 6 years?
she really enjoy justin's music
accompanied her through long bus rides, during long walks, from late nights at work to relax time in bed till she doze off..
it's really a nice to experience a long lost feeling..
to be so engrossed, again, in smtg that you had lost for so long..


& only yesterday..she suddenly feel so much when she was listening to 1 of justin's songs.
all the songs mean smtg..
not only the lyrics..is the music
it's just this new, unidentified feeling!
it makes me..
really want to meet justin!! =p
ok huni..it's not an excuse..
ok it's partially=p
just imagine..how nice it will be..if i really get to friend him!
but things will be different now..
i won't get him to sing for me already..
i'm more interested in the inspirations and reasons behind the songs he wrote
ok i think he will hate me for that! :X


and now..i feel good..
it's really v.relaxing to do therapeutic writing!